Somehow or another I managed to make it to college without ever having seen The Notebook, but eventually, part way through first semester of freshman year, my friends and I finally sat down to watch it together. Now, don’t hate me, but I hated it. I couldn’t stand the way Allie was such a princess, how she wouldn’t give Noah the time of day even though he was clearly slaving away for her. Most of all, I couldn’t stand the way that they would fight. That wasn’t love to me: having screaming matches all the time, no matter what romantic things Ryan Gosling had to say about it.
But maybe, it was really just that I didn’t understand. I’d never fought with someone like that. Not until second semester of college. I was mad that he wasn’t really telling me how he feels about me going abroad next spring. He was mad that I kept pestering him about it. “I’m fine with it! I don’t know what more I can do to prove to you that I’m fine!” he shouted at me. “Stop acting like this! If you were fine, you wouldn’t be reacting this way!” I fired back. Never had I ever had such a heated argument with someone. And let me tell you, it was scary.
“People only get upset with each other when what they’re talking about is important.” -Maya, Disney’s Girl Meets World
When you care about someone and something threatens to get in the way of that relationship that means a lot to you, you get upset and desperate. You do what you have to to be heard. You do what you have to to say what you need to say. Because maybe if there’s communication, the fighting will stop and that relationship will still be intact the way you want it to be. And that was the case of him and me just as it was for Noah and Allie. Somehow the way you feel about one another comes out even when you’re fighting. The passion never goes away, whether it’s actual romantic passion or not, even if it’s not romantic passion at all.
Sometimes it’s just that you care too much about the other person to let anything get in the way. And although it seems counter-intuitive in the moment, you later realize that even a heated argument is an expression of how much you mean to each other.
While there’s still a lot that I could care less about The Notebook, at least I finally understand the way that Allie and Noah fight. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all.