“I want a Sunday kind of love
A love to last past Saturday night
And I’d like to know it’s more than love at first sight
And I want a Sunday kind of love”
-“A Sunday Kind of Love” as sung by the Four Seasons
I’ve been pretty honest in saying that I hold my grandparents as the standard upon which I measure true love. And after spending the past weekend with them, it occurred to me, to my dismay, that we no longer love each other the way that my grandparents do. Which is a terrible loss.
My grandparents fell in love during the era of “love is forever” and “marriage is until death do us part.” None of this one-night stand, friends with benefits, hook-up culture crap: love that doesn’t last past Saturday night.
My grandparents have been married now for over fifty years. And I won’t try to fool you and say that it was all rainbows and butterflies, but anything worth keeping alive for fifty years isn’t going to be. No, my mom recently told me that years ago my grandma left the house. I don’t know why, probably some row she and my grandpa had, but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that my grandpa would go running every morning past the place where she was staying just to check up on her even though they were “separated” until she came home. It took work, it took time, it took listening, it took apologizing. It took all of those things that most of us don’t want to give of these days. Our hearts and ourselves.
And now they’re both retired, taking care of each other, him taking more care of her. He’s there at her every beckon and call. Now, my point is not for one partner to be a sheepdog for the other, but that he loves her so much that he would clearly do anything for her. And really, I mean anything. They have a Sunday kind of love.
This is how I want to be loved. Like I said before, this isn’t about being in charge or being in control or wanting someone to be willing to do anything for me for selfish reasons. It’s just that I want to know that someone loves me so completely, so unconditionally that nothing else matters. And I want to love him back in the same way. This is the kind of love that completes us and heals the world in the process.
I know it’ll take longer, much longer, than finding someone who just wants to jump in the sack, but in the end, it will be worth so much more. I want a Sunday kind of love.