In My Life

“In my life there’s been no one like him anywhere, anywhere…”  -“In My Life,” Les Misérables

There comes a time when you’ll meet a guy who changes your entire perception of life, of relationships, of love.  Suddenly, you look at the future a whole new way.  Really, you look at the future.  You see more than just a date the Prom.  You see a man that you could come home to day after day.  Who could tie your son’s shoelaces and kiss your daughter’s boo-boos.  Every time he talks to you, every time he looks you in the eyes, you feel so comfortable, like he’s right there to catch you, while all the while, you’re terrified that you’re going to fall, that your stomach is going to plunge 5,000 feet if he gives you that perfect smile one more time.

Originally, I’d intended this post to be about the first guy I had a crush on in college.  I was so sure that he was the proverbial “one.”  For the first time, I was sure that I’d met the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with, even if it took a little while for us to get there.  Something in my gut was telling me that it was right.

Sometimes, your gut is wrong.  Mine was.  A few months later things spiraled downward as he started ignoring me around campus.  I was angry and hurt, but I was also surprised at how fast I moved on to a place of having a not caring, it’s his loss anyway, kind of attitude.  Clearly, he wasn’t the “one.”

After this had passed, things started changing between Ross and I.  I found out that my friends were seriously shipping us.  I started to examine my feelings for him.  I wondered what his feelings for me were.  We became like peanut butter and jelly, two things that unequivocally go together like rama lama lama ka dinga da dinga dong.  Somehow during dinner one night, he, my roommate “Monica,” and I practically planned our entire wedding- and we’re not even dating!  It’s now a running joke that crops up several time a week in various venues.  And that got me thinking…

Sometimes, your gut is wrong.  Usually, your heart is right.  And my heart is telling me that maybe, just maybe, he could really be the “one.”

I’ve never met someone so perfect for me.  As sappy and cliche as it sounds he just “gets” me.  Most of the time I don’t have to tell him what I’m thinking; all I have to do is look at him and he knows what I’m thinking.  We want a lot of the same things: a financially stable life before marriage (as much as is possible), to adopt kids (and have some of our own), to travel the world…  We’re crazy similar to ridiculous extends.

An anecdote: a few days ago we were just having a life talk, and somehow it turned into “What names do you like for children?”  And let me just say that it is a testament to our relationship that we can have these kind of conversations without any sort of awkwardness.  He told me he likes the name Sophia for a girl, and I agreed.  “What name (as in middle name) would you put with that?” I asked him.  In the five seconds it took him to think of something, I thought “Grace,” and just as I was about to say it, he answered, “Sophia Grace.”  What are the chances of that happening?

We joke all the time about how our marriage is “inevitable” because of all of these reasons.  My cousin says I have to marry him because he thinks my dad is cool and who knows when the next time another man will come along who thinks that.  But all of the joking aside, our marriage could be inevitable.  It’s very possible that he’s the “one.”

During the stressful part of our “Ross and Rachel saga,” I realized that I love him.  And since then, it’s only proven to be more and more true.  I have no idea what made me realize it, but that doesn’t diminish it’s truthfulness.  In my life, there’s been no one like him anywhere, anywhere…

For now, I’m just content to be together, enjoy each other’s company, love each other as very good friends.  But someday, maybe someday, my heart will be right.  Maybe he’ll be the “one.”  Maybe he already is.




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