The People My Children Will Know

It’s weird to think that years from now my kids will know some people who had a huge impact on my life.  There are some people they won’t know.  They’ll never know Italian viscotti made by the hands of my Nana, the Angel of Music.  They’ll never know my “second dad.”  They probably won’t know those friends from high school that I stayed in contact with but drifted away from once I went to college.  Who will they know?  Who will be important enough to me in the future, for the impact that they had on me in the past, that I choose to tell them about them?

They’ll know my first college roommates.  There are some people that you make such a connection with that you just know will be in your life forever.  I used to think that my first group of high school friends would be the ones I said to my kids, “Back when we were in high school…”  Uncle A and Aunt K would be the cool “aunt” and “uncle” that my kids would love to go to reunions to see.  It wasn’t until after I got out of that friend group that I was so glad it didn’t turn out that way.  At the time, I assumed we’d always be in each others’ lives.  But in retrospect, even though I didn’t know it at the time, it didn’t feel right.  But at the same time, with my college roommates it feels right.  These are people that I can’t imagine my children not knowing.

I think it’s important to know when it feels right.  When it’s one of those relationships.  One that’s so special that it’s bound to last forever.  With people that you can’t imagine not being a part of your children’s lives.  And there’s a difference between this kind of “right” and the kind of “right” that we think we have with people even if it actually isn’t right- like the kind I had with my old group of friends.  And the way that you know it’s the real kind of “right” is that “What if it doesn’t turn out this way?” has never occurred to you.  I should have known that my relationship with my ex wasn’t going to work out because I thought about what would happen if it didn’t work out.  Same with my ex-best friend; her mom worked with my dad, and so when they introduced us before seventh grade so we’d know someone going into the first day of school, I asked my mom “What happens if we don’t end up becoming friends?”  You don’t go into a marriage thinking “What if it doesn’t work out?”  So if you think that at the beginning of a relationship, it most likely is going to come to be.

And just as I can’t imagine my kids not knowing my first college roommates, I can’t imagine them not knowing Vivaz and Jeavoi.  There’s not a day that goes by that I’m not thankful for their friendship, and I can’t imagine a day when that will cease.  I can’t remember how exactly we all became so close, but that’s just the wonderful and mysterious work of God.  But that doesn’t matter because I know that we are friends for life.

Finally, I would be remiss to neglect to mention my “egg friend.”  My childhood best friend and I have literally been friends since conception; our moms were pregnant (and friends) at the same time.  This girl has been my rock in all of our eighteen years of life, and I literally have no conception of what it would be like to not have her in my life.  We’ve always been a pair, and for as long as I can remember, our futures have always been intertwined.  I can’t imagine it any other way.  This girl is practically my sister; her family is mine, and mine is hers.

These are the people that my children will know.  Because they all mean the world to me.  And I wouldn’t want it any other way.



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