To the only boy I regret:
I don’t believe in regrets. Everything that happens to you- for better or for worse- makes you into the person you are today. And having regrets is like saying that you wish you were somebody else. And I don’t; I’m happy with who I am today, so why would I want to change something about my past? Changing just one tiny little moment could make me a completely different person. I guess that if I didn’t like who I am, regrets would make sense and I might look at them differently, but I like myself, so there’s that.
But, Jude, you’re my one regret.
I regret not standing up. Not saying anything when I had the chance.
For four years I sat there and listened to them tease you. Sometimes more mercilessly than others. And even though I thought about it numerous times, I never said anything. And for that, I’m deeply sorry.
I’m sorry that I didn’t have the courage to say something when no one else would. To point out to people that sure, maybe you can be grouchy and say some not-so-nice things at times, but did they ever think that maybe it’s because they’re always picking on you?
And I’m sorry that I was afraid of what they would do or say to me if I helped you. That I not only denied you three times, but more than three times.
And I’m really sorry that I not only let them get away with it, but I let them get away with it in front of our teacher. Because I was afraid of how she would react too. Would she think I was a super freak if I helped you? Would she side with the other kids and say that I was out of line for saying something?
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” -Matthew 25:40
Jesus, I’m sorry that I failed you. You were in need of a friend, and I turned a blind eye. And for that, I will always be regretful.