There’s this guy on campus that I had (have…) this mongo crush on, and he didn’t respond to my text message!!!!! OMG!!!!!
Okay, actually, I do have a crush on this guy, and he didn’t respond to me, but actually, it’s not that big of a deal.
Okay, it was a big deal like the day of and the day after, but it’s not now. I promise.
I called Vivaz the other night because this whole thing was starting to drive me insane. I have these really strong feelings for this guy- I’m more sure about him than I’ve ever been about anyone in my life. But first, the possibility of another girl haunted me for awhile. And then the fact that he wasn’t responding to my message. Until I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had decided that this time was going to be different- that for once, I wasn’t going to go chasing and instead was just going to let things happen when they’re meant to. But that didn’t stop my thoughts from being consumed with when I’d next see him or if he’d smile at me the way I hoped. And in the end, it was almost worse than trying to force things to happen.
It wasn’t until I woke up a few days later, post-unresponded text, that a little bit of clarity came to me. I’d seen him since then; and he was perfectly friendly- happy to see me even- and certainly not avoiding me. I thought back to eighth grade year, which was consumed almost in its entirety with mine and S’s ginormous crushes on each other. There would be days when he’d smile at me often, we’d talk a lot, or he’d even walk home with me; they were the best days ever, and I felt like I was walking on air. Then, there would be the days that he wouldn’t even look my way and I thought he hated me- even if yesterday… those were the worst days ever, and I felt like I wanted to die. But in the end, we ended up together- even if only for a little while.
And that made me realize that just as in the case five years ago of S and I, there are good days and bad days with this new guy. Things happen in other people’s lives that have nothing to do with you other than the fact that it affects how they relate to you. People are affected by emotions that cause them to react to you in various ways, even if you’re not the one who caused those initial emotions in the first place. In other words, not responding to the text message most likely had nothing to do with me- it wasn’t meant to be hurtful- especially when that uncharacteristic behavior is put in context with his usual self (who was happy to see me and didn’t avoid me in the slightest). So I shouldn’t have taken it so personal. The world doesn’t revolve around me.
So the next time he doesn’t respond to one of your text messages, girls, I encourage you to take a step back and think about all of the things that affect his life besides you. If it’s uncharacteristic of him not to respond, you’re probably taking it too personally and inadvertently trying to make yourself the center of his world. And like I said before with S, there’s still hope.
Remember, it’s the bad days that make the good ones worthwhile.