You’re the One that I Want

I hate Grease.  Absolutely hate it.  I know it’s an American classic, but I can’t stand it.  Why?  Because the moral of the story is “change yourself for a guy, so he’ll love you.”

No, no, no!  I already talked about how women try to change men in “Beauty and the Beast,” and I consider this post a companion to that one.  Just as it is wrong for us women to attempt to tame and civilize men by completely changing who they are, it is wrong for men to do the same to women.

However, it is not as common for a man to actively attempt to change his woman.  Instead, a desperate woman who lacks self-confidence feels she is not meeting his expectations and tries to remedy that before he leaves her out in the cold.  No woman should ever have to change herself to be loved.

I recently read this article “My ‘Naked’ Truth” (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robin-korth/sex-over-50_b_5563576.html), and although I am nowhere near fifty-nine years of age, what this woman did is what all women should do.  She had enough respect for herself not to change herself to please a man.

There are two major things wrong with changing yourself for someone.  One: you’ll never be happy.  You’ll be forced to keep up the charade, which will be exhausting, and you’ll either forget who you really are or you’ll drive yourself insane by stifling her all the time.  And two (which makes number one all the worse): he never loved you anyway.  Someone who loves you, really loves you, will accept you, flaws and all, with no intent to change you or hope that you ever will change of your own accord.  And miraculously enough, he will still love you even if you do!

By changing yourself for someone, all you do is lose.  You’ve sold your soul, and you’re lucky if you get it back.

Besides, if Danny Zuko loves you in all of your Sandra Dee glory when no one is around but crumples the moment his friends are around, you want a man with backbone anyway.

Stay beautiful,

-Enjouée

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