There’s always “the guy.” You know which one I’m talking about. He’s older, wiser, more mature. He catches your eye with that handsome smile of his, and its clear in that very instant that this isn’t a boy that you’re dealing with. Oh, no- this is a man. You talk yourself around and around it- he’s too old, but age is only a number- and always end up daydreaming about a guy clean out of “girl-next-door-dom.”
So what’s a girl to do?
Let me tell you, sisters: I sure can empathize. Been there, done that- and it is rough stuff, my ladies. I mean, he’s cute, right? And he makes you feel special. You must be in order for a guy more than a grade or two above you to even look at you that way! Not only does he make you feel special, but he makes you feel like a woman. Not a girl. Girls have been attracted to older men for ages because they make them feel more mature and attractive. And who can’t resist gushing with your friends about your latest encounter with him at the local supermarket when he said, and you quote, “It was great to see you”?
All right. I’m done indulging our girlish fantasies. Here’s the dealio, Ladies: as charming and handsome as he is, he is at a different stage of life than you. I’m sure that didn’t sink it. Let me repeat: he is at a different stage of life than you. Now let that sink in. Really sink in.
Okay. So what does that mean?
It means that he’s probably looking to settle down and have a family before you are. It means that if you’re under eighteen, you sure had better be careful. It means, if he’s twenty-one, you can’t be at his man-parties working the keg, and do you really think he wants to wait around five or six years for you to go to college and get a career? It means he’s just the right age to be your older brother, and you’re much better off seeing him that way.
Now, I’m not talking about those relationships that start in high school where your’e a freshman and he’s a senior. Although those relationships also require caution just not in the way that relationships between a seventeen-year-old girl and a twenty-five-year-old guy would (and that’s the kind of “guy” I’m talking about). If he’s out of college and you haven’t even started yet, that’s way too big of a gap for you to try to bridge!
So, get to know him? Sure! Be friends with him? Even better! Those kind of guys make great friends and even better “big brothers.” But date him? Ladies, you better be looking for a Romeo born in the same half of the decade.
*** This post is about high school relationships. I think once you get into college and beyond, the whole age and maturity thing levels out and it no longer becomes an issue. I mean, my aunt is ten years younger than my uncle, and they have a very successful marriage. Just wanted to clarify that this post is strictly about high school girls with the hots for guys five years and upwards older than them. And they’re not just thinking that Johnny Depp is a hottie.***