I didn’t win Homecoming Queen. I didn’t have the boy of my dreams ask me to the dance or even ask me to dance. But I did have an insanely fun time at the best, most drama-free school dance that I have ever attended.
Going in it felt a little awkward seeing my ex-best friend hanging all over my ex-boyfriend, now her current boyfriend. As much as I’d moved on, there was a part of me that still held onto the hurt and anger from the betrayals I suffered sophomore year. Until, suddenly, I felt a load floating off of my shoulders. I felt great. I felt free! I felt as if the chains that had bound me were snapped like twigs and as if I could run and run and run and run. What is that feeling, you ask? That feeling is falling out of love.
I’d always known that I was emotionally detached from him. Those strings had been cut before I even broke up with him. It wasn’t until I saw them together though, really saw them- the way she looked at him and rested her head on his shoulder when they slow danced- that I realized how much she loved him. And what was more, that I could never even pretend to love him the way that she did. And that made me happy. The craziest thing was that I was happy for two of the people that have treated me the worst I have ever been treated. But it meant that I was free! It was all over! Everything had come full circle, and I could completely move on without looking over my shoulder anymore. I had fallen out of love.
Have any of you seen the Christmas movie The Holiday with Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Cameron Diaz, and Jude Law? It is one of my favorite Christmas movies, and one of my absolute favorite scenes is when Kate Winslet’s character Iris realizes she’s “fallen out of love” with Jasper and that she’s completely and utterly free to do whatever she wants and move on with her life. The feeling you see her display is exactly what it felt like for me. I felt like I needed to shout it out to the world!
I guess the best part of falling out of love is knowing that you can go your separate ways and not have to feel guilt or regret. You know that he wasn’t the one. And that’s okay. You realize you didn’t want him to be the one. You didn’t need him to be the one. He can be her one. But you. As for you, you’ll just keep climbing that mountain. And someday, there will be another man to fall in love with. And maybe you’ll fall out of love with him too. Or maybe, just maybe, he’ll be your one.