When Boy Meets Girl…

So, after my last post about relationships, I felt obligated to make another post about something a little more relevant to teenagers. So this post is going to be about that fluttery feeling in your gut and the other crazy things you feel when you see that person. A warning to any boys reading this, this post is focused mainly on the girl’s perspective. Sorry!
There are a few rules to the dating game. OK, these aren’t actually rules, but success is closer to you if you follow these guidelines. Just a disclaimer: these guidelines are not going to work in all situations. That’s the problem with living. Some stuff you just can’t guarantee. But, based on personal experience and the anecdotes of trusted women, these are some pretty reliable formulas. 😉

1.) Cover up. This may seem a little counter-intuitive, but there’s a lot of sense to it. Girls who show a lot of skin are basically giving it away free. There’s no mystery in that. And that’s half the fun; mystery. There’s a lot of sense in the saying Modest Is Hottest. The more you hide, the more they have to guess. And that’s why I don’t wear bikinis. Keep them guessing. And believe me, you can find some really cute one-piecers and/or tankinis! Here’s just one example: http://www.reyswimwear.com/ (just a little side-note: I would recommend watching her video on the history of the bikini. Very interesting…)

2.) Be confident. I know so many songs and movies portray those unconfident girls as highly desirable, but I don’t really buy that. People tend towards confident people. Think about the people you look up to, whether at school, work, or on the silver screen. Chances are, they’re not hiding behind their hair every chance they get. People are drawn to confidence. Boys are not exception. Confident people don’t care, and that’s a challenge. Besides, why NOT be confident in yourself? If you love yourself, others will love you as well. But don’t go overboard, though. Cockiness is a major turnoff.

3.) Do not flirt… at least, not the way your high school girlies do. Yes, flirting will work on some, if not most guys. But the guys who are worth having are not going to look at a girl who flips her hair, widens her eyes, and smiles shyly at the ground and say, “I want that.” This goes hand-in-hand with Rule No. 3. Any guy who is worth anything will look at a confident girl who doesn’t need the affirmation of others and choose her over the girl who is constantly needing to be reminded that is worth something. So don’t flirt. I can pretty much guarantee you that you’re a mighty fantastic person who doesn’t need to use the hair and the eyelashes to get someone.

4.) Do not lower your standards. My father and mother sat me down when I was twelve years old and had me write a list of all the things I wanted My Man to have. At age twelve, you haven’t met the bad guys, the sexy mo fos of the world. You are enamored with gentlemen and princes. Surprisingly enough, your view of love at age twelve and under is practically perfect and untainted. I came up with a list that went something like this: He needs to love God, not swear, love me very much, speak nicely, be smart, etc… High standards, for sure. But that’s good! We should have high standards, boys and girls. And we definitely should not settle for anything less than those standards. I’m sure you’ve heard that upwards of one thousand times. 🙂 It is most certainly true. Please, ladies and gentlemen, never lower your standards. Someday someone will meet them. I promise.

And now,

THE GOLDEN RULE OF THE DATING GAME
GIRLS, DO NOT CHASE!
This is just not a good idea. Girls think it’s cute when a guy is persistent. Guys think it’s creepy when a girl is. Think about it from his point of view: not only does it seem desperate, but… if you’re coming on this easily to him, how many other guys are you coming on to this easily? Bad idea.

But the ultimate relationship advice I can give is, it’s really not that important! If you’re our age (aka troubled teen years!) then boy/girl relationships- romantic ones, at any rate- really are not that important. Chances are, they won’t go anywhere. If you’re older than us… don’t take my advice. I haven’t had a college love-life. 😉 I know high school romance and very little beyond! But really, romantic relationships in high school are not that important. You are not a failure if you haven’t got one and you’re not something to be admired if you have (you’re to be admired for other reasons, my lovelies!). There is nothing wrong with the single life. But if you are desperately wanting a romantic relationship, follow our guidelines and, if you follow them accurately, you’ll either find yourself with a great guy or no guy at all… because no cheap guy will go for a girl too good, too confident; too YOU.

-Vivaz

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